This Simple Relationship Feasibility Test is a fun and easy self-awareness exam which aims to help all loveless and seeking women determine their adequacy to be in a MATURE relationship.
Please answer quickly and honestly.
1. Are you a female more than 25 years of age?
(Yes, I am getting old. / No, I am in denial.)
2. Do you have a monthly cash inflow of Php15,000 or more?
(Yes, I can sing to Neo’s “Miss Independent”. / No, I am part of the “masa”)
3. Do you have a SERIOUS boyfriend for the last six months? Or at least a CUTE boylet for the last three months?
(Yes, in my dreams. / No, I believe God answers prayers in “His” time.)
4. Do you curse other women who are not as good-looking as you are but these women have somehow managed to seduce “pwede na” men into a relationship?
(Yes, love moves in mysterious ways. / No, I curse myself.)
5. Do you read horoscopes to guide you into finding “The One”?
(Yes, what’s wrong with that? / No, I’ve been reading horoscopes since time immemorial but still nothing terrific happens.)
6. Do you love watching foreign and local chick flick movies?
(Yes, they bring hope to my loveless life. / No, I deny watching these films with my BFF’s who are equally as loveless as I am.)
7. Do you know what a Stargazer is?
(Yes, it’s a movie right? / No, I started forgetting everything about this “flower thing” since I do not receive any flowers during Vday anyways.)
8. Do you love eating Ferrero Rocher?
(Yes, I am chocoholic when I am depressed. / No, it reminds me that I am eating something which I have bought but should have been given to me FREE by a suitor.)
9. Do you wear lustrous clothes?
(Yes, they’re “IN”! / No, I prefer plunging necklines. I am that desperate!)
10. Do you watch evening news or read morning broadsheets to keep yourself updated with current events that are happening around you and public affairs which affect your daily life?
(Yes, I form part of the solution and not of the problem by eliminating one key negative factor – IGNORANCE. / No, I form part of the problem by being one of the APATHETIC individuals who just care about themselves and their family and nothing more.)
11. Do you honestly believe that the one you love will come to your life at the right time and at the right place like a thief in the night who will steal your heart and after a whirlwind romance you’ll both live happily ever after?
(Yes, yes, yes! / No, but yes!)
12. Are you shittin’ me?
(Hehe / Hindi ba ganun?)
13. Do you want a man whom you can spend the rest of your life with and will help you bring out all the best in you?
(Yes, I sooo want him now! / No, I want that man plus more!)
If you answered mostly “Yes” to these questions then what are you waiting for? Call or text 09173662220 to be with that one man you have been desperately looking for!
Nah! ;p
If even for 0.5 seconds you considered calling or texting the number above, you failed this whole exercise.
For God’s sake, wake up and see things around you! If you have a calendar right at this very moment, look at it as if it’s the holy grail and see the figures screaming at your face – 2 0 0 9!
It’s already 2009 bitch! ;p
You have to understand that the fairy tales you have been told about when you were a child are just plain fiction that teaches some valuable lessons in life like honesty, bravery and integrity. The romance is just an inherent part of the story to induce readers to some form of chivalry, adventure and suspense to keep you guessing and continue reading for more. These stories are like parables. They are not necessarily true but possess truth in them. At this point in time, do you really understand the words “once upon a time” and “happily ever after”?
If you want a man who has height, masculinity, intelligence, sense of humor and money coupled with piercing eyes, red lips, friendly smile and hot car, forget about it! (I’m already taken ;p)
Seriously, a mature relationship cannot be based upon something which only the eyes can see, which only the heart can feel, or three shots of tequila. A mature relationship requires some thinking.
Believe me, you can’t get the man of your dreams wishing, praying, reading, reflecting and salivating… go out and HUNT! ;p
You Are What You Eat
If the saying “You are what you eat” is (perfectly) true and the only basis for our (present-day) existence, then we Filipinos should (instead) be called:
10. Sardinas.
We are a whopping 90,000,000 people living in about 300,000+ square kilometer land. One day, while I was exchanging body odor battling it out in MRT in a regular rush hour, I heard one said, “Buti pa ‘yung sardinas patay na nu’ng ‘pinagsiksikan, tayo buhay pa ‘pinagsisiksikan na!”
9. Sawsawans.
Haven’t you recognized it? We only think of, look into, and discuss topics which are currently screaming headlines in print and in airwaves. During its 15 minutes of fame, different personalities with their personal interest and agenda try to grab some glitter to cover their dirty selves. After losing its fame, every headline loses its glitter and the pigs and alligators are back in dirt.
8. Menudo.
The putahe that is always present in all occasions and in all locations. That’s your proof na maraming PUTAhe sa Pilipinas.
7. Corned Beef.
Best served out of the Balikbayan Box. We still adhere to our American Dream. We admire those who went everywhere and anywhere but here. Ewan ko nga ba… may corned beef din naman sa Pilipinas.
6. Ma Ling.
Dadami ba tayo nang ganito kung hindi tayo Ma L?
5. Pride Chicken.
Matataas ang ating pride, pero mga duwag naman. Magaling, magaling, magaling.
4. Instant Noodles.
We all love instant. Instant money. Instant fame. Instant power. Instant shame. Instangina talaga.
3. Pandesalistas. (Dedicated to RC Cola)
Not because ADMU beat DLSU in UAAP men’s senior basketball, it already means ADMU is the best university of the land. DLSU is still the best. Sino ba ang nangunguna ‘pag dating sa collegiate sex scandals, laglagan sa collegiate basketball at collegiate drug trafficking? Animal La Salle! (Joc! Joc! Joke!) Seriously, ADMU is the best. FG Mike is from ADMU. He fucks the President who fucks the Filipino people! One Big F***!
2. Ricist.
We worship WHITE rice. We laugh at BLACK rice. Kung hugasan kaya natin sa ‘sang katutak na Pond’s whitening cream ang BROWN rice, kakainin kaya natin ‘to?
1. Hungerians.
Dahil maraming walang makain dito. ‘Yun na ‘yun. Bow.
Mahirap lunukin…pero totoo. :c
10. Sardinas.
We are a whopping 90,000,000 people living in about 300,000+ square kilometer land. One day, while I was exchanging body odor battling it out in MRT in a regular rush hour, I heard one said, “Buti pa ‘yung sardinas patay na nu’ng ‘pinagsiksikan, tayo buhay pa ‘pinagsisiksikan na!”
9. Sawsawans.
Haven’t you recognized it? We only think of, look into, and discuss topics which are currently screaming headlines in print and in airwaves. During its 15 minutes of fame, different personalities with their personal interest and agenda try to grab some glitter to cover their dirty selves. After losing its fame, every headline loses its glitter and the pigs and alligators are back in dirt.
8. Menudo.
The putahe that is always present in all occasions and in all locations. That’s your proof na maraming PUTAhe sa Pilipinas.
7. Corned Beef.
Best served out of the Balikbayan Box. We still adhere to our American Dream. We admire those who went everywhere and anywhere but here. Ewan ko nga ba… may corned beef din naman sa Pilipinas.
6. Ma Ling.
Dadami ba tayo nang ganito kung hindi tayo Ma L?
5. Pride Chicken.
Matataas ang ating pride, pero mga duwag naman. Magaling, magaling, magaling.
4. Instant Noodles.
We all love instant. Instant money. Instant fame. Instant power. Instant shame. Instangina talaga.
3. Pandesalistas. (Dedicated to RC Cola)
Not because ADMU beat DLSU in UAAP men’s senior basketball, it already means ADMU is the best university of the land. DLSU is still the best. Sino ba ang nangunguna ‘pag dating sa collegiate sex scandals, laglagan sa collegiate basketball at collegiate drug trafficking? Animal La Salle! (Joc! Joc! Joke!) Seriously, ADMU is the best. FG Mike is from ADMU. He fucks the President who fucks the Filipino people! One Big F***!
2. Ricist.
We worship WHITE rice. We laugh at BLACK rice. Kung hugasan kaya natin sa ‘sang katutak na Pond’s whitening cream ang BROWN rice, kakainin kaya natin ‘to?
1. Hungerians.
Dahil maraming walang makain dito. ‘Yun na ‘yun. Bow.
Mahirap lunukin…pero totoo. :c
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