If the saying “You are what you eat” is (perfectly) true and the only basis for our (present-day) existence, then we Filipinos should (instead) be called:
10. Sardinas.
We are a whopping 90,000,000 people living in about 300,000+ square kilometer land. One day, while I was exchanging body odor battling it out in MRT in a regular rush hour, I heard one said, “Buti pa ‘yung sardinas patay na nu’ng ‘pinagsiksikan, tayo buhay pa ‘pinagsisiksikan na!”
9. Sawsawans.
Haven’t you recognized it? We only think of, look into, and discuss topics which are currently screaming headlines in print and in airwaves. During its 15 minutes of fame, different personalities with their personal interest and agenda try to grab some glitter to cover their dirty selves. After losing its fame, every headline loses its glitter and the pigs and alligators are back in dirt.
8. Menudo.
The putahe that is always present in all occasions and in all locations. That’s your proof na maraming PUTAhe sa Pilipinas.
7. Corned Beef.
Best served out of the Balikbayan Box. We still adhere to our American Dream. We admire those who went everywhere and anywhere but here. Ewan ko nga ba… may corned beef din naman sa Pilipinas.
6. Ma Ling.
Dadami ba tayo nang ganito kung hindi tayo Ma L?
5. Pride Chicken.
Matataas ang ating pride, pero mga duwag naman. Magaling, magaling, magaling.
4. Instant Noodles.
We all love instant. Instant money. Instant fame. Instant power. Instant shame. Instangina talaga.
3. Pandesalistas. (Dedicated to RC Cola)
Not because ADMU beat DLSU in UAAP men’s senior basketball, it already means ADMU is the best university of the land. DLSU is still the best. Sino ba ang nangunguna ‘pag dating sa collegiate sex scandals, laglagan sa collegiate basketball at collegiate drug trafficking? Animal La Salle! (Joc! Joc! Joke!) Seriously, ADMU is the best. FG Mike is from ADMU. He fucks the President who fucks the Filipino people! One Big F***!
2. Ricist.
We worship WHITE rice. We laugh at BLACK rice. Kung hugasan kaya natin sa ‘sang katutak na Pond’s whitening cream ang BROWN rice, kakainin kaya natin ‘to?
1. Hungerians.
Dahil maraming walang makain dito. ‘Yun na ‘yun. Bow.
Mahirap lunukin…pero totoo. :c
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